(Construction worker with an unlit cigarette in his mouth, working at a church)
Priest: "I'm sorry, sir. This is the third time I've told you not to smoke in the church."
Construction worker: "And this will be the third time I told you I'm not smoking. The thing ain't lit."
Priest: "You wouldn't have a cigarette in your mouth if you didn't intend to smoke it."
Construction worker: "Yeah? You have an asshole, but you don't sit there shtting all day, do you?"
(Note from submitter: Construction worker was removed from the job. Go figure.)
- Church in the South Suburbs
-- Submitted by Jeff M.