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Woman: (on office phone) "Yeah, Marcie. I asked him the outfit looked good on me and he said no. Why would he say no? I could put on paisley with a polka dot hat and pull it off. God I wish annulments and divorces were cheaper."
Bum: "Everyone is always worried about Friday then 13th. Friday the 13th this, Friday the 13th that. Let me tell you something, brotha. I'm worried about Wednesday the 8th. That's when the REAL shit hits the fan."
Woman: (on cell) "If I go to the store, will you come with me? Who's going to help me make fun of all the pants that I'm not going to buy? But you know how to laugh at ALL the name brands. Fine. I guess I'll go shopping alone, but I'm not going to be happy about it."
Guy: (no cell) "No babe, you shouldn't go on a diet. No. I love you anyway. Er, not anyway, I love you no matter how you look. No! You're not fat! I'm just saying that if you were I would still love you. Sure I'm sure. I love you now, right? THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT! You're beautiful to me...you know...forget it."
Guy: (on cell) "She told me she was coming over and I felt like Alien. No, the part where the thing comes out of my stomach. No, I'm not pregnant. I'm not pregnant! Damn it. Would you feel better if I said the part where the alien gets sucked out the shuttle door's window? Fine. But if you tell mom I'm pregnant, I'm going to end you."