(Little boy continuously walks up to table and takes forks and spoons from patrons)
Irritated Guest: "I'm sorry. Could you PLEASE tell your son to stop going to other tables and sit down!"
Great Parent: "Listen, buddy. My kid can express himself however he wants and you aren't going to tell me what to do."
Irritated Guest: "Fine. But when I turn all the knives at the table around and put them within his reach, I don't want to hear complaints."
- Pizzeria Uno's Schaumburg
-- Submitted by Tuna