Guy #1: "DUDE! Can you wash your dishes?"
Guy #2: "Of course I can. I just don't want to."
Guy #1: "Seriously. They're stinking up the joint."
Guy #2: "If I wash them, it'll force me to eat on them again, and I'm trying to lose weight. Do you want me to be the fattest guy in the suite?"
-- Submitted by Suitemate