It's not stealing when you're stuffing it in their clothes.

Drunk Guy #1: "I think we need to go home."

Drunk Guy #2: "I think we need to see boobs."

Drunk Guy #1: "No. I'm tired of seeing them. Everytime we see them, we have problems."

Drunk Guy #2: "Only because you always try to touch."

Drunk Guy #1: "Only because they always steal my money."

- Barleycorn, Wrigleyville

-- Submitted by Jermain