Guy #1: "I need to go buy some Dayquil. I'm dying."
Guy #2: "Okay. So go to Walgreens."
Guy #1: "You're supposed to feel sorry for me and then go FOR me."
Guy #2: "Fuck that, dude. Get your lazy ass outside and get your medicine. It's not like you have cancer and I have to pick up THOSE meds."
-- Submitted by Zebra