Guy: (on cell) "I was making my tuna sandwich. I made a crucial error. I put the bread directly on the bench. NO MAN! DIRECTLY ON THE FREAKING BENCH! Where the naked guy sits everyday. No! I couldn't turn back. I had already taken a couple bites. I should have turned back, but I had nothing else. Just never discuss it again."
- North Chicago, outside of a fitness center
-- Submitted by Relay