Guy #1: "I'm going to need a new couch."
Guy #2: "Are you going to get it delivered?"
Guy #1: "No. I figure I'll just load it on to your back and have you carry it for me."
Guy #2: "I did that already. Except the couch was you and you were passed out. And then you peed on my back and threw up on my hair."
-- Submitted by Flame