Must've missed that page.

El Passenger: "People don't make babies. God makes babies. And babies are just punishment for not remaining a virgin. a Punishment! I mean the Bible, the BIBLE, warns against marriage!"

- Red Line

-- Submitted by Ariel

Scientists say: Too late.

Green Peace Guy: "Hey! It's her! Hey!"

Girl: "Sorry. Can't talk. I'm in a rush."

Green Peace Guy: "Hey, I'm in a rush, too. To save the planet!"

- Chicago and State

-- Submitted by Gemma

Delish.

Guy: (on cell) "If you're going to the store can you pick up yogurt? Yeah and not that vomit tasting one that was full of fat."

- Yellow Line

-- Submitted by swifty

Definitely. Must be the hidden tire.

Girl: (on cell) "...And it just stopped. I was able to pull to the side. I don't know. The engine went 'crunchy, crunchy, ploppy, ploppy, screeeeeeeeeech.' And then it stopped. You don't think it's a blown tire, do you?"

- Downtown Naperville

-- Submitted by Louis

She might have had a great personality.

Guy: "I thought it'd be love at first sight until I saw her body. I think she ate her last boyfriend."

- ESPNZone

-- Submitted by Martin

Good try.

Guy: "Can you make the deal better? The gym down the street is giving me 6 months free."

Sales Guy: "We're not doing that.''

Guy: "Can I get a free day then?"

- X-sport

-- Submitted by Ronnie

He's awake and he's lying.

Woman #1: "He just keeps waking me up, begging for a piece. In the morning he tells me he's asleep and doesn't remember any of it."

Woman #2: "He's sleepwalking?"

Woman #1: "More like sleepsexing."

- Blue Line

-- Submitted by M

And for, 50 dollars, they'll pay you

Girl: "I hear that for twenty dollars you can get everything for free."

- Belmont Red Line Stop

-- Submitted by sealouse

I mean, it's KIND of technoligical.

Woman: ''It's amazing what moderate technology can do."

- Green line

-- Submitted by Stephen

If you are seeing an errant posting on Google or some other RSS feed, that was an error by a publishing partner. Excuse the interruption.

She got ya there.

Guy #1: "I have to go to physical therapy."

Guy #2: "For how long?"

Guy #1: "I think eight weeks. My hand just won't get better. I guess I have to stop pleasing the women. Right?"

Random Goth Girl: "You're obviously only pleasing yourself. If you were pleasing women, you wouldn't be concerned with your hand."

- Red Line

-- Submitted by Stunned

Duty failed. By many.

Guy: "I think I'm going to ask her out again."

Girl: "Your last date was a disaster. Can't you just find someone new?"

Guy: "But then where's the thrill? I've got to make things right. It's my civic duty."

Girl: "Who are you? Superawfuldaterman? Your civic duty is to not be a dumbass."

- UIC

-- Submitted by Renee

Try texting on it. Near impossible.

Woman: (on cell) "How do you drunk dial on a rotary phone? It probably takes 20 minutes just to figure the damn thing out and being all inebriated. And what if you pass out mid-rotary?"

- Skokie

-- Submitted by Sheesh

The donor list is going to be short.

Girl: "If my left wrist hurts and my right wrist is fine, should I be worried about needing a transplant or replacement or something?"

- Orthopedic Office, North side

-- Submitted by Nurse of Fools

Vote for change indeed.

Guy: "Now that Obama's going to be President, he'll try and fix stuff. Hopefully he brings back 70's music. And eight tracks. Awesome."

- DePaul University

-- Submitted by Zander

Guy: "Now that Obama's going to be President, he'll try and fix stuff. Hopefully he brings back 70's music. And eight tracks. Awesome."

She is now.

Guy: (on cell, angrily speaking) "Say it! Just say it! Is she breaking up with me?!"

- Purple Line

-- Submitted by innocent bystander

It's apparently possible with brains.

Guy: "I wonder if it can ever get to the point where your eyeballs just shatter."

- Chicago Ave. bus

-- Submitted by Jessica

It was a double whammy if she's a vet.

Guy: (on cell) "I was in this relationship with a girl named Kelly and, you know, Memorial Weekend I just coldly dumped her."

- Office, Wolf & Palatine, Wheeling

-- Submitted by Jenny

Friends think of everything.

Girl: "So you had long underwear?"

Guy: "Well I normally wear nothing, but I tried padded shorts, they worked well. Then Steve bought me these tight black ones and those were even better."

- Union Station

-- Submitted by jeff