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| Monday, October 26, 2009 |
| Where the whole family can enjoy a meal. And then get the hell out. |
Guy: "Next!"
Girl: "I'd like a soup/sandwich combo."
Guy: "Which soup do you want?"
Girl: "Which soups do you have?"
Guy: "See that big ass board behind me with all of our items? You may want to read it before you waste my time. NEXT!"
Girl: "It's like you're the real Soup Nazi."
Guy: "No. That turd's got nothing on me. Now go to Taco Bell. They like fat chicks there."
- North Suburbs, Restaurant Chain Redacted
-- Submitted by Yikes |
posted by Ziggy @ 2:56 PM   Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| I'm willing to challenge this theory. |
Girl: "Ok, so the point is: rats have fur, and furriers can make any fur look like gold."
- Michigan Ave, near the Tribune building
-- Submitted by Midori |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:55 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| I guess money DOESN'T buy everything |
Guy: "White dudes, they wear whack shoes, whack clothes. I see them, they're wearing ratty-ass shirts, ratty ass pants; but they get money, so it don't matter. White people got whack hygiene in general; but they get money, so it don't matter!"
- Damen bus
-- Submitted by A White dude |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:54 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Wednesday, October 21, 2009 |
| Being ugly and married, perhaps. |
Girl: "I said, 'You're with your wife?' And then he asks me why I didn't congratulate him. For what?"
- Ravenswood
-- Submitted by ecobox |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:24 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Kids are stupid assholes. |
Girl #1: "...and then I saw that bitch walking out of THE GAP!"
Girl #2: "Oh, gross."
Girl #3: "She doesn't deserve life."
- Corner of Oak and Rush
-- Submitted by Matt F. |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:23 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Plans are for suckers, that's why. |
Woman: (on cell) "Why would you go to Minnesota and not have a way to get back?"
- Illinois Center
-- Submitted by Becky |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:22 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Friday, October 09, 2009 |
| This chick REALLY loves teddy bears. |
Girl #1: "...he's finally taking me on a date."
Girl #2: "Where are you guys going?"
Girl #1: "I don't know, but if he takes me to Build-A-Bear, he's definitely going to be getting a BJ."
- Northwestern
-- Submitted by Jen |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:09 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Next he'll tell you about his bad beat in a 2 cent poker hand. |
Guy #1: "Do you know how many fantasy points I lost by not playing their defense?"
Guy #2: "Do you know how many teeth you're going to lose if you keep talking to me about that stupid shit?"
- Aon Building
-- Submitted by Bobby |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:08 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Someone had a date cancelled. |
Guy: "I'm going to start planning events 5 years in advance. That way, people can't tell me that a month wasn't enough of an advanced notice."
- Loyola
-- Submitted by Guy |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:06 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Wednesday, October 07, 2009 |
| There are better detergents |
Girl: "...and now my underwear smells like Drano."
- Northwestern
-- Submitted by Dale |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:58 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| I'm sure that's her plan. |
Guy: (on cell) "And if you see the mail lady, tell her to stop feeding the mail to the dog, would ya?"
- Metra South Shore
-- Submitted by Indy |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:58 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Wouldn't that be the three of skanks? |
Guy: "If you were a suited card, what would you be?"
Girl: "The two of clubs."
Guy: "Why's that?"
Girl: "Because I love going to clubs and love threesomes."
- Speed Dating, North Side
-- Submitted by Woo Hoo |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:50 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Monday, October 05, 2009 |
| Killing the earth one equation at a time. |
Greenpeace Guy: "So, I bet you like forests!"
Woman: "No. I'm a mathematician. I kill trees by the ream."
- Michigan Avenue
-- Submitted by two2blue |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:22 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Any guy will obviously do. |
Guy: "Hey, is that chick crying?"
Girl: (crying) "YES! AND IT'S PROBABLY YOUR FAULT ANYWAY!"
- Under the Red Line at Argyle
-- Submitted by Bordello |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:21 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| The first part is heroic. Or very sad. |
Guy: "Trust me, I used to gang bang and I had my ear pierced."
- Wrigley bleachers
-- Submitted by Remy |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:21 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Friday, October 02, 2009 |
| Olympic Sadness: Part 1 |
Guy #1: "Do you think we'll ever try again?"
Guy #2: "It depends. How much money is left in the 'Daley's Cronies' account?"
- West Loop
-- Submitted by Allison |
| posted by Ziggy @ 1:47 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Olympic Sadness: Part 2 |
Girl: "In the first round? We should have at least been finalists!"
Guy: "What's the difference when you lose?"
Girl: "Posterity, I guess."
- North Side Office Building
-- Submitted by Jay |
| posted by Ziggy @ 1:45 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Olympic Sadness: Part 3 |
Guy: "Do you think it's because Rio's hookers are hotter?"
- Daley Center
-- Submitted by Olympic Woeful |
| posted by Ziggy @ 1:40 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Thursday, October 01, 2009 |
| One and the same. |
Guy #1 (pointing at bus seat): "These seats are bigger."
Guy #2: "No, they're like, a new material. They're different from those plastic ones."
Guy #1: "But I'm saying, they're bigger."
Guy #2: "Oh, are they?"
Guy #1: "Yea. To accommodate all the fat people in Chicago."
Guy #2: "I've been to St. Louis, and I think they have the most fat people anywhere."
Guy #1: "That's because of Jack in the Box and shit."
- #146 Bus
-- Submitted by Diane |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:14 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Check and mate. |
Guy: "Why are girls dumb?"
Girl: "It's not that we're dumb. It's that we have to pander to the lowest common denominator."
Guy: "Who's that?"
- DePaul
-- Submitted by Jeff |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:12 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| 7 of them. |
Female Employee: "I watched the 2nd Shrek the other night, it was pretty funny!"
Male Employee: "Oh yeah. I heard about that. Don't they have a shorty in that one?"
- North Suburban Home Depot
-- Submitted by Joanna |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:10 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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Name: Ziggy
Home: Morton Grove, Illinois, United States
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