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| Thursday, July 09, 2009 |
| Until you blue-screened. |
Guy: "If you were a Mac, and I was a PC, I would have beaten the shit out of you right now."
- Chicago State University
-- Submitted by Leela |
posted by Ziggy @ 3:33 PM   Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| SPAM THEM! |
Guy #1: "Let's go postal."
Guy #2: "That's so 1990's. We should make up something new."
Guy #1: "Well, we can't go all email on their asses. That just sounds stupid."
- Lakeview
-- Submitted by Stupefied |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:32 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| It's not exactly a compliment. |
Girl #1: "...she's such a jap!"
Girl #2: "Asian or Hebrew?"
Girl #1: "Can she be both? But not like, meanly?"
- Northwestern
-- Submitted by Alfalfa |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:31 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Wednesday, July 08, 2009 |
| He's not a King, he's a Pink Lady |
Thug: "They think I'm a king cause of my mustache. It grows in thin so it makes me look like a king, even when I wear pink."
- #22 Clark bus
-- Submitted by PMA |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:15 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Another reason to weep for the future. A lot. |
Girl: "I mean, I haven't thought in, like, four months."
- Truman College
-- Submitted by Cami |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:14 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| World's biggest bar. |
Girl #1: (In Reference to Kosuke Fukudome) "You should yell at him in Chinese!"
Girl #2: "Tell him 'Konichiwa!'"
Girl #3: "No. He wouldn't understand that. That's Asian"
- Wrigley Field
-- Submitted by jrc |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:09 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Thursday, July 02, 2009 |
| They'll figure out a way to make ice cream. |
Guy: "...and I'm just tired of watching Iron Chef."
Girl: "What's the problem?"
Guy: "The ingredients are getting boring. I'm waiting for him to life the freaking lid and say, 'Today's ingredients: GLASS SHARDS!"
- Metra South Shore
-- Submitted by Ute |
| posted by Ziggy @ 1:20 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Poor Jake. |
Girl #1: "Are we going to Jake's barbecue or Laney's?"
Girl #2: "It all depends on the amount of meat we'll be having."
Girl #1: "I can almost guarantee there will be more at Laney's."
- Loyola
-- Submitted by Quest |
| posted by Ziggy @ 1:19 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| And she's only 5. |
Guy: (on cell) "No, doc. It's gotten to the point that when I ask her if she wants to go to school, she asks me if I want to go to hell."
- Randolph/Michigan office
-- Submitted by Stunned |
| posted by Ziggy @ 1:18 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Tuesday, June 30, 2009 |
| Incentive... |
Guy #1: "You want to come play some video games later this week?"
Guy #2: "Will your wife be there for me to stare at?"
- Grant Park
-- Submitted by Ali |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:18 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Shot down. Hard. |
Guy: "It's just so great to see you again."
Girl: "Yeah. It's been a long time since you've hit on me."
Guy: "We can skip straight to the pre-breakfast part, you know."
Girl: "You mean me waking up in my bed, in my house, by myself?"
Guy: "Before that?"
Girl: "This IS before that."
- Fransesca's, Bryn Mawr
-- Submitted by Leon |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:14 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Point, counter-point. Kinda. |
Guy #1: "There are just no jobs out there."
Guy #2: "Do you ever think it's your general malaise and lack of drive that makes you unemployable?"
Guy #1: "No. I really think it's just a market thing. I just have to wait it out and something will come."
- Lincoln Park
-- Submitted by JJ |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:12 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Monday, June 29, 2009 |
| And the sludge. And the mobsters. |
Guy: "The water in the lake is so clear you can see all the way down to the bottom."
Girl: "Where the garbage is?"
- Hyde Park Art Center
-- Submitted by Crystal |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:39 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Pushing the buttons, though, is another thing. |
Woman: (on cell) "My kids can put a hot dog in the microwave. They KNOW how to feed themselves."
- #36 Broadway bus
-- Submitted by Milhouse |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:38 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| If there's grass on the field, but it's muddy...forget it. |
Girl: "I only do anal because sex before marriage is wrong. I'm a Christain!"
Guy: "And what does the Bible have to say about Sodomy before Marriage?"
Girl: "Why would anyone put sod on me?"
- Andersonville
-- Submitted by mcfarlandwrites |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:35 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Wednesday, June 24, 2009 |
| Try the zoo...for idiots. |
Girl: "Is there anywhere I can go in Chicago where I can hug a Panda?"
Guy: "Those things are kinda fierce."
Girl: "They've never been hugged by me before. They'll chill."
- Grant Park
-- Submitted by Drizzle |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:08 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Jump in the deep end. |
Guy #1: "It's so freaking hot out! When is fall coming?"
Guy #2: "Didn't you just ask for summer three days ago when it was 60 and rainy?"
Guy #1: "But I didn't want summer to be THIS hot. Just kinda hot."
Guy #2: "You're 'kinda' the biggest attention grabbing turd I know."
- DePaul
-- Submitted by Lexus |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:05 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Some guys don't need it. |
Girl: "Why would a guy be interested in a mermaid? She doesn't have a snatch."
- Red Line
-- Submitted by HJ1000 |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:05 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Tuesday, June 23, 2009 |
| Not like your brain is busy. |
Girl: "I like giant, salted pretzels."
Guy: "Right."
Girl: "Except I hate giant unsalted pretzels. And I don't like the taste of just the salt without the pretzels."
Guy: "Okay."
Girl: "Why can't my face stop playing these games with my brain?!"
- Northwestern
-- Submitted by Yumpers |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:22 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| Ace-hole in deed. |
Guy: (on cell) "You have the ace in the hole, man. All you have to tell her is that your mom slept with her brother. How do you lose that argument?"
- Lincoln Park
-- Submitted by Jimbo |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:18 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| No where to be found. |
Train Rider: "We had to watch this movie about prostitution. It was supposed to be all tragic and everything, but it wasn't tragic at all. I kept waiting, like 'Okay, where's the tragic part?'"
- Red Line
-- Submitted by Diane |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:11 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
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| About Me |
Name: Ziggy
Home: Morton Grove, Illinois, United States
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