|
| Tuesday, June 30, 2009 |
| Incentive... |
Guy #1: "You want to come play some video games later this week?"
Guy #2: "Will your wife be there for me to stare at?"
- Grant Park
-- Submitted by Ali |
posted by Ziggy @ 3:18 PM   Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Shot down. Hard. |
Guy: "It's just so great to see you again."
Girl: "Yeah. It's been a long time since you've hit on me."
Guy: "We can skip straight to the pre-breakfast part, you know."
Girl: "You mean me waking up in my bed, in my house, by myself?"
Guy: "Before that?"
Girl: "This IS before that."
- Fransesca's, Bryn Mawr
-- Submitted by Leon |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:14 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Point, counter-point. Kinda. |
Guy #1: "There are just no jobs out there."
Guy #2: "Do you ever think it's your general malaise and lack of drive that makes you unemployable?"
Guy #1: "No. I really think it's just a market thing. I just have to wait it out and something will come."
- Lincoln Park
-- Submitted by JJ |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:12 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
| Monday, June 29, 2009 |
| And the sludge. And the mobsters. |
Guy: "The water in the lake is so clear you can see all the way down to the bottom."
Girl: "Where the garbage is?"
- Hyde Park Art Center
-- Submitted by Crystal |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:39 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Pushing the buttons, though, is another thing. |
Woman: (on cell) "My kids can put a hot dog in the microwave. They KNOW how to feed themselves."
- #36 Broadway bus
-- Submitted by Milhouse |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:38 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| If there's grass on the field, but it's muddy...forget it. |
Girl: "I only do anal because sex before marriage is wrong. I'm a Christain!"
Guy: "And what does the Bible have to say about Sodomy before Marriage?"
Girl: "Why would anyone put sod on me?"
- Andersonville
-- Submitted by mcfarlandwrites |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:35 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
| Wednesday, June 24, 2009 |
| Try the zoo...for idiots. |
Girl: "Is there anywhere I can go in Chicago where I can hug a Panda?"
Guy: "Those things are kinda fierce."
Girl: "They've never been hugged by me before. They'll chill."
- Grant Park
-- Submitted by Drizzle |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:08 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Jump in the deep end. |
Guy #1: "It's so freaking hot out! When is fall coming?"
Guy #2: "Didn't you just ask for summer three days ago when it was 60 and rainy?"
Guy #1: "But I didn't want summer to be THIS hot. Just kinda hot."
Guy #2: "You're 'kinda' the biggest attention grabbing turd I know."
- DePaul
-- Submitted by Lexus |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:05 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Some guys don't need it. |
Girl: "Why would a guy be interested in a mermaid? She doesn't have a snatch."
- Red Line
-- Submitted by HJ1000 |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:05 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
| Tuesday, June 23, 2009 |
| Not like your brain is busy. |
Girl: "I like giant, salted pretzels."
Guy: "Right."
Girl: "Except I hate giant unsalted pretzels. And I don't like the taste of just the salt without the pretzels."
Guy: "Okay."
Girl: "Why can't my face stop playing these games with my brain?!"
- Northwestern
-- Submitted by Yumpers |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:22 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Ace-hole in deed. |
Guy: (on cell) "You have the ace in the hole, man. All you have to tell her is that your mom slept with her brother. How do you lose that argument?"
- Lincoln Park
-- Submitted by Jimbo |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:18 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| No where to be found. |
Train Rider: "We had to watch this movie about prostitution. It was supposed to be all tragic and everything, but it wasn't tragic at all. I kept waiting, like 'Okay, where's the tragic part?'"
- Red Line
-- Submitted by Diane |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:11 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
| Thursday, June 18, 2009 |
| That's only one optio...oooooh. |
Guy: "Your two options are both shutting up!"
- North Ave Beach
-- Submitted by Confused |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:37 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Good thing he's not a butt man. |
Guy: "I've always loved the feet of a baby. So pure, soft, and supple; plus they're always a bit stinky."
-Whole Foods Sauganash
-- Submitted by Joe |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:35 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| So you got the tickets for free? |
Guy: "Nothing like two crappy teams playing a meaningless series to show how patheticly ridiculous this town is when it comes to baseball."
- Wrigley Field
-- Submitted by Clark Kent |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:33 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
| Wednesday, June 17, 2009 |
| Definitely one way to look at it. |
Guy: "If you don't have any baggage at this point in your life, you must not be any good."
- Durkins
-- Submitted by EI |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:22 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Thankfully, no. |
Guy: (on cell) "It's just that the viagra emails hit really close to home, you know?"
- Red Line
-- Submitted by Carlos |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:20 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Must be a leader of the group. |
Odd looker: "I'm so goth, I wear fuschia."
- #22 Clark bus
-- Submitted by Michael |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:19 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
| Monday, June 15, 2009 |
| Good support system, pal. |
Guy: "I need more attention."
Girl: "Like emotional or physical?"
Guy: "Both."
Girl: "Well, stop begging and being a tool and maybe you'll get it."
- Union Station
-- Submitted by Chen |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:23 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Yes we do, JERK! |
Gir: (blowing her nose)
Woman: "Oh, do you have a cold?"
Girl: "No, my date is an ass."
Woman: "Well, they don't get any better when you marry them, honey."
- West Side
-- Submitted by EI |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:11 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| No one's ever been there. |
Girl: "What's the address again?"
Guy: (gives her an address)
Girl: "Ok, but wh-"
Guy: "Unless you meant the address to my pants."
- Niles
-- Submitted by JoJo |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:04 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
| Friday, June 12, 2009 |
| The environment thanks you. The other guys, not so much. |
Guy: "Usually when my pee is clear I just don't flush the toilet."
- Northwestern University
-- Submitted by Dan |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:46 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Until he opens the next bag. |
Girl: (on phone) "Honestly, Jim. I don't like when you force me to eat M&M's. It's like you're controlling me with sweet, delicious chocolate and I can't stand it anymore!"
- Little Italy
-- Submitted by Connie |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:43 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| He thanks you for that comment. |
Guy: "I mean, his penis was just so apparent!"
- Red Line
-- Submitted by George |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:41 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
| Thursday, June 11, 2009 |
| They're non-toxic. Sometimes. |
Girl: "I'm looking for work, okay?"
Guy: "What's on the horizon?"
Girl: "Well, I'm thinking about taking a bunch of online surveys."
Guy: "For cash?"
Girl: "No. For points. But I can trade in the points for purses and stuff."
Guy: "Are purses edible?"
- Lincoln Park
-- Submitted by Apple |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:08 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Lifestyle cheats. |
Guy #1: "How'd you lose so much weight?"
Guy #2: "I went vegan."
Guy #1: "So you only eat vegetables?"
Guy #2: "Yeah. And the occasional surf and turf. Those are my cheat meals."
- North Side
-- Submitted by Grisssssly Bear |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:07 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Better than a four year old speed. |
Guy: "My dog is so friendly. He'll jump right up in your face. He's like a two year old on crack."
- Benedictine University
-- Submitted by Lou |
| posted by Ziggy @ 1:53 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
| Tuesday, June 09, 2009 |
| Probably. |
Dad: "Look at those cute hot dogs!"
Little Girl: "Daddy? THAT'S what hot dogs are make of?"
- Humboldt Park
-- Submitted by Jeremiah |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:00 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| How'd you get in the elephant? |
Girl: "Sitting in a lounge chair is so comfortable. It's just so cushy. It's like sitting inside of a giant elephant."
- Hookah Lounge, North Suburbs
-- Submitted by Jenae |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:58 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| I'd prefer A.C. Slater, pre-"the rest of his life." |
Guy: "My whole life has been like a bad TV show."
Girl: "Like Saved by the Bell bad?"
Guy: "Woman! You are NEVER to tarnish Saved by the Bell again! I would give a billion dollars to trade lives with Zack Morris."
- Northwestern
-- Submitted by Vernon |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:55 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
| Monday, June 08, 2009 |
| Because they both usually end without a satisfactory result? |
Girl: "I'm on my new summer diet. Healthy breakfast, good lunch, then drink my dinner. I lost 15 pounds last year doing this."
Guy: "That's not a diet; that's LIFE!"
- Mad River
-- Submitted by Edie |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:01 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Shoot for the stars, kid. |
Guy: (on cell) "...but I've gotten rejected so many times, asking is no big deal. One day, a girl who isn't high is going to say yes."
- Green Line
-- Submitted by Amy |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:00 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| The same way they 'accidently' have sex? |
Woman: "How does somebody 'accidentally' eat poo?"
- Strack & Van Til
-- Submitted by Spinner |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:58 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
|
| By submitting a dialogue to this web site, you are granting the site an unlimited right to republish the dialogue in any online or printed form. This right is semi-exclusive, retained also by the eavesdropper and the speakers of the dialogue. |
| About Me |
Name: Ziggy
Home: Morton Grove, Illinois, United States
About Me:
See my complete profile
|
| Important Links |
| |
