And an awesome, emotionally stable mom!

Guy: "I know people say their kids are cute, but mine is drop dead beautiful. She's only nine, but looks fourteen, plus she's got everything: skinny, long legs, and blonde hair!"

- Magnificent Mile

-- Submitted by OHNO

When English isn't enough.

Guy: (on cell) "If I spoke Serbian, I'd be swearing at your mom right now."

- Red Line

-- Submitted by Kenny

Phish concert, eh? Shocking.

Girl: "I have some raisins if you're hungry."

Girl #2: "I can't eat raisins. I feel like I'm cheating on grapes with their grandparents."

- Phish Concert

-- Submitted by Ian

The fact that his friends use the word 'beerginity,'' maybe?

Girl: "And he lost his beerginity early on, so one has to wonder, 'What's the hold up?'"

- Irving and Leavitt

-- Submitted by Remy

Sold due to snazziness!

Lady: "Why should I get an Iphone?"

Sales Lady: "Well, it has a ton of storage for pictures and games and music."

Lady: "How many pictures can it hold?"

Sales Lady: "Well, how many pictures can your camera hold?"

Lady: "1200 or so."

Sales Lady: "More than that. Plus it's snazzy."

- Apple Store, Old Orchard

-- Submitted by Shorts

Or are you?

Bachelorette Party Girl #1: "Let's all have affairs!"

Bachelorette Party Girl #2 (seriously): "No!"

Bachelorette Party Girl #1: "I'm just kidding."

- Boystown

-- Submitted by Jeff

But they're so sweet and tasty

Guy: (on cell) "STOP EATING THE DOGS FEET!"

- Green Line

-- Submitted by ScubaChicken

You can change the grifty level?

Girl: "I like to consider myself a grifter. But less grifty."

- Jackson and Dearborn

-- Submitted by Holden

Sounds promising.

Guy #1: "I'm debating whether or not I should be a professional blackjack player. I usually do pretty well at the casino."

Guy #2: "How much do you usually win?"

Guy #1: "The three times I've played, I've won 10 bucks."

- Red Line

-- Submitted by GFI

A little of A, a little of B.

Classy Lady: "Either it's a small world, or I'm a whore."

- Cornelia & Seminary

-- Submitted by Mary Low

A little of A, a little of B.

Classy Lady: "Either it's a small world, or I'm a whore."

- Cornelia & Seminary

-- Submitted by Mary Low

It'd be hell for birds.

Woman: "What if it actually rained men? That would be so dangerous."

- DePaul, Loop campus

-- Submitted by Shazam

Isn't this guy on Family Guy?

Old man: (taking a picture of a bunch of guys) "How we doing this boys? Balls out, shirts off?"

- Incubus Concert

-- Submitted by Amanda

Double Negative Fun! L'Chaim!

Guy #1: "Do you hate Jews or something?"

Guy #2: "No. Not at all. I hate Jew haters!"

Guy #3: "So you're an anti-anti-semite?"

- Lakeview

-- Submitted by Ron

Take...pictures?

Guy: "I just got a new phone."

Girl: "That's so cool! Let me see."

Guy: "I dig it."

Girl: "What does the camera do?"

- DePaul

-- Submitted by Green

Fear Apple's wrath!

Sales Lady: "So have you decided which device you want?"

Guy: "No. I'm confused. I think I don't want any of them."

Sales Lady: "Apple will not be pleased to hear that report!"

- Apple Store, Old Orchard

-- Submitted by Jeffrey

Sorry for the dearth of posts. I've been out and unable to update the site. Back to normal tomorrow!