|
| Monday, July 27, 2009 |
| Better than booing |
Guy: (on cell) "I'm tired of you yelling 'surprise' every time we have sex, is all."
- Green Line
-- Submitted by ha ha ha |
posted by Ziggy @ 2:58 PM   Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| How many plane trips needed? |
Guy #1: "I need help moving."
Guy #2: "When and where bro?"
Guy #1: "Tomorrow and to France."
Guy #2: "I don't know if I can carry a couch that far."
- University of Chicago
-- Submitted by Ed |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:57 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Mom sounds terrific |
Guy: (on cell) " My dad is awesome and supportive and loves my wife and the kids to death. My mom is a soul sucking banshee who wants things her way all the time. I mean I love my parents but it's just confusing, you know?"
- Red Line
-- Submitted by Pedro |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:55 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
| Friday, July 24, 2009 |
| Attention: GROSS! |
Strange Guy: "I'm going to pee my pants people. If the train doesn't stop at my stop soon, there will be a puddle, and it will NOT smell good. Asparagus, people. ASPARAGUS!"
- Purple line
-- Submitted by Trey |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:11 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| A what? Pseudo-douchebag. |
Girl: "...and it's so frustrating. Why won't anyone listen to me?"
Guy: "Because life is a pathetic metaphor for death. It's so cliche."
Girl: "For real."
- Loyola
-- Submitted by Rick |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:10 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Does she like crappy food too? |
Girl: "I wish I was Avril Lavigne right now!"
- McDonald's downtown
-- Submitted by Ghost |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:09 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
| Wednesday, July 22, 2009 |
| Sounds like a well thought out plan. |
Guy #1: "I'm thinking of starting a company with an innovative idea. Leading society into the future."
Guy #2: "What's the plan?"
Guy #1: "For me to think of the idea, and then lead society into the future. I pretty much laid it out for you already."
- Loyola University
-- Submitted by Whit |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:08 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Friends love boosting you up! |
Guy #1: "I don't know if she likes you."
Guy #2: "We're friends, though. I'm pretty sure she likes me unless it's a pity date."
Guy #1: "Unless or assuredly because?"
- DePaul
-- Submitted by GiGi |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:06 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| She'd need rope |
Girl: "I want to buy shoes, but I don't have enough money."
Guy: "You can do amazing things with old tires."
- Ashland
-- Submitted by The Colonel |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:04 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
| Monday, July 20, 2009 |
| How long does that go in the oven? |
Guy: "What do you want for dinner?"
Girl: "A new family and a vacation."
- Metra Milwaukee District North
-- Submitted by Taylor |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:34 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| You say potato, I say disgusting. |
Girl: "The mail never comes in the morning anymore."
Guy: "Mail carrier switch?"
Girl: "Yeah. The new guy looks like he sits in the car and watches little girls or something. Very creepy."
Guy: "How do you get that vibe?"
Girl: "He always delivers the mail with his shirt unbuttoned and untucked. Like he was in a rush to get out of the car."
Guy: "Maybe he's from Alaska and 70 degree whether is scorching for him?"
Girl: "Maybe he's jerking off and forgets to tuck his shirt back in?"
- Golf Mill Shopping Mall
-- Submitted by Newman |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:31 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Someone's a great dad. |
Guy: "But she just learned how to talk and all she does is say my name over and over and over again. The girl will not shut up. At least get to the point or something, you know? Do you want crackers? Do you want milk? ANYTHING. Just stop repeating my name a million times! It drives me insane!"
- State of Illinois Building
-- Submitted by Clover |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:29 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
| Friday, July 17, 2009 |
| That guy is smooth. |
Guy: "All you can do is give an honest answer."
Girl: "But if they ask what my goals are, I can't say, 'To marry into a rich family so I won't have to work at a second rate company like this one.'"
Guy: "You need to spin that into a more productive statement that makes it sound work related. Something like, 'I'd like to join an organization that is not only established, but successful enough to provide for all of its employees.'"
- Northwestern University
-- Submitted by Tanya |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:53 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| If it's Sam Zell, he won't care. |
Woman: "Is killing a customer and then posting them up as a warning grounds for being fired?"
Man: "Probably. But you'd have to check with the owner."
- North Side Restaurant
-- Submitted by Katja |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:45 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Someone really needs tickets. |
Guy: (on cell) "I really need some tickets for the Cubs game, but I need to pay under face value. Right. It depends how rough you'd be."
- Red Line
-- Submitted by Hound |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:36 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
| Wednesday, July 15, 2009 |
| Your guess is as good as anybody's. |
Guy: "When is it time to go back home?"
Girl: "We usually leave around 7:30."
Guy: "You said there'd be food, here."
Girl: "There's fruit over there."
Guy: "Fruit? What the hell am I going to do with that?"
- North Shore Book Club
-- Submitted by Avid Reader |
| posted by Ziggy @ 1:51 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Drones, yes. Robots, not yet. |
Guy #1: "I want to design video games."
Guy #2: "I think you need to go to school for that."
Guy #1: "No way. There has to be robots around that do the actual work. I just want to tell them what kind of shit to shoot."
- Evanston
-- Submitted by Relay |
| posted by Ziggy @ 1:49 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Business basics. |
Girl: (on cell) "If the school wants to make more money, they should just build a strip club on site. That way, all the girls paying their way through college can stay on campus!"
- UIC
-- Submitted by Colleen |
| posted by Ziggy @ 1:47 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
| Monday, July 13, 2009 |
| Subaru. |
Dumb Girl: "We need to find out who makes Mazda."
- Naperville Shell Station
-- Submitted by HondaDriverV6 |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:58 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Funny because it's true! |
(3 kids see a window washer)
Kid #1: "Oh, wow! I could never do that."
Kid #2: "I thought they had robots to do that now."
Kid #3: "Well, that's the job you get if you don't go to college."
- Corner of Madison & Franklin
-- Submitted by Koz |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:56 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Someon's excited |
Man: "23! 23! It's my birthday! Let's wake this block UP!"
- 6:30 a.m., residential section of Crystal St.
-- Submitted by Paul |
| posted by Ziggy @ 2:55 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
| Thursday, July 09, 2009 |
| Until you blue-screened. |
Guy: "If you were a Mac, and I was a PC, I would have beaten the shit out of you right now."
- Chicago State University
-- Submitted by Leela |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:33 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| SPAM THEM! |
Guy #1: "Let's go postal."
Guy #2: "That's so 1990's. We should make up something new."
Guy #1: "Well, we can't go all email on their asses. That just sounds stupid."
- Lakeview
-- Submitted by Stupefied |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:32 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| It's not exactly a compliment. |
Girl #1: "...she's such a jap!"
Girl #2: "Asian or Hebrew?"
Girl #1: "Can she be both? But not like, meanly?"
- Northwestern
-- Submitted by Alfalfa |
| posted by Ziggy @ 3:31 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
| Wednesday, July 08, 2009 |
| He's not a King, he's a Pink Lady |
Thug: "They think I'm a king cause of my mustache. It grows in thin so it makes me look like a king, even when I wear pink."
- #22 Clark bus
-- Submitted by PMA |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:15 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Another reason to weep for the future. A lot. |
Girl: "I mean, I haven't thought in, like, four months."
- Truman College
-- Submitted by Cami |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:14 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| World's biggest bar. |
Girl #1: (In Reference to Kosuke Fukudome) "You should yell at him in Chinese!"
Girl #2: "Tell him 'Konichiwa!'"
Girl #3: "No. He wouldn't understand that. That's Asian"
- Wrigley Field
-- Submitted by jrc |
| posted by Ziggy @ 4:09 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
| Thursday, July 02, 2009 |
| They'll figure out a way to make ice cream. |
Guy: "...and I'm just tired of watching Iron Chef."
Girl: "What's the problem?"
Guy: "The ingredients are getting boring. I'm waiting for him to life the freaking lid and say, 'Today's ingredients: GLASS SHARDS!"
- Metra South Shore
-- Submitted by Ute |
| posted by Ziggy @ 1:20 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| Poor Jake. |
Girl #1: "Are we going to Jake's barbecue or Laney's?"
Girl #2: "It all depends on the amount of meat we'll be having."
Girl #1: "I can almost guarantee there will be more at Laney's."
- Loyola
-- Submitted by Quest |
| posted by Ziggy @ 1:19 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
| And she's only 5. |
Guy: (on cell) "No, doc. It's gotten to the point that when I ask her if she wants to go to school, she asks me if I want to go to hell."
- Randolph/Michigan office
-- Submitted by Stunned |
| posted by Ziggy @ 1:18 PM Del.icio.us Digg it! |
|
|
|
|
|
| By submitting a dialogue to this web site, you are granting the site an unlimited right to republish the dialogue in any online or printed form. This right is semi-exclusive, retained also by the eavesdropper and the speakers of the dialogue. |
| About Me |
Name: Ziggy
Home: Morton Grove, Illinois, United States
About Me:
See my complete profile
|
| Important Links |
| |
